A memory

Dedicated to my deceased brother……….

If life goes on as we think, it’s not life. I have made changes in perspective of life’s values and norms. It is said life is beautiful. But it may turn nasty in various ways and shows its monster form unknowingly. So we learn by living our life, whatever comes on its way. We have no choices left than to surrender ourselves to that situation. A devastating and out of the blue incident occurred in our family life. It was an usual day, usual time but the circumstances had been changed. A time with its disastrous form revealed us the unexpected event. Sensational, Heart breaking, Unbelievable it was. These are the mere words and words count no worth compared to feelings. Words are just the structured form seen through our naked eyes which lack their real identity and hidden truth. It was a usual day with unusual circumstances. April 15, Sunday. Early in the morning I woke up and was just sitting by the bed pondering the day’s plans. I was calm, cool and placid till. If you think life goes on smooth, you may be wrong in your belief system. It is sure life will create obstacles to you in many ways. Somebody entered my room, I was called. Then I went to my dai room. He was crying. My heart started to beat faster. His watery eyes made me nervous and speechless as everything was fine when we slept last night. I stood in awe. I inquired what had happened. He described me the phone call he received that our brother was no more in this worldly earth. That moment I heard those words, I could not believe. I think it was just a hoax. Everything fade away from my memory. I was speechless, motionless and could not find the way what was happening. I just turned lunatic for a while. My brother had gone to America five years ago to pursue his studies. He had completed his study and was seeking job. Everyone called him a gentle person. He was friendly and affable with everyone. He never talked of pessimistic things in life. His cheerful face and subtle smile is deeply rooted in our memory. But at last, we could not understand what happened to him. The incident turned mysterious. We accepted as it was. We could do nothing. This is what a life teaches you. Whatever it offers you have to accept it without any deny. We cannot overcome nature and its forces. Life is like a river, it goes on and on and nourishes itself on the way. Was he destined to have death in a foreign land, in such a premature age? He reached far away from us, in that distant land and left us. I wonder sometimes about the karma and destiny. Is it predetermined? Are we bound with our past lives actions? Then we went to our home in Arghakhanchi. It was already dark night when we reached. People were gathered and they were all speechless. My mother was in unconscious state and everyone was sitting beside her. How do you feel at that situation?  A mother who grows the womb inside her tummy for the 9 difficult months and bears pain to grow him up. A time when she thinks she will be rewarded , she is punished instead. Our hopes and expectations vanished in a second. But as it is said there is a silver line in every dark cloud, we have to seek the way from the darkness which has no exception.

His memories still haunts me. Not only he was a good person to me but to everyone. But memory just agonize you further. It creates an space which you think if he is still alive. But that is now an illusion. We are now only related with our souls. May his soul rest in peace.